Tom Rath, author of the great book Vital Friends, conducted a massive study on the power and impact of friendships, especially friends in the workplace.
Tom asks a series of interesting questions…
"Educating oneself is the foundation of our learning systems, and it’s obviously a worthwhile pursuit. But is there any chance it’s time to add the next element? Have you ever taken a course in friendship? Could a second-grade student, a high school student, a college freshman, your boss, or even you benefit from time dedicated to this pursuit. If we have already spent significant time on self-development, is it possible that most of the magic- our room for rapid personal and professional growth- lies in developing our friendships?”
Rath defines Vital Friends as
“Someone who measurably improves your life.” and “ A person at work or in your personal life whom you can’t afford to live without.”
Imagine a staff development training session dedicated to helping you make better friends with the people you work with. Imagine a staff development session that focuses on helping you a few of your colleagues develop deep meaningful friendships. Is it important? You bet!
I think back to the tragic suicide of an teacher colleague with whom I worked for several years, who felt that life had no meaning because of a lack of true deep friend relationships. They didn't want to go on living without friends. Could it have been prevented with just one vital friend at work?
Some of the findings in Vital Friends include…
- During our teenage years, we spend nearly one-third of our time with friends. For the rest of our lives, the average time spent with friends is less that 10%
- If your best friend has a healthy diet, you are five times as likely to have a very healthy diet yourself.
- 83% of people bring different strengths to the relationship that their best friend does.
- Only 18% of people work for organizations that provide opportunities to develop friendships on th job.
- Without a best friend at work, the chances of being engaged in your job are 1 in 12.
- People with at least three close friends at work were 96% more likely to be extremely satisfied with their life.
- Only 20% of employees dedicate time to developing friendships on the job.
- Fewer than 1 in 5 consider their boss to be a close friend.
- Employees who have a close friendship with their manager are more that 2.5 times as likely to be satisfied with their job.
- 17% of employees report that their manager has made “an investment in our relationship” in the past three months.
- When managers discuss friendships with employees on a regular basis, it nearly triples the chances of employees having a “best friend at work.”
The evidence is from the research conducted by Tom Rath is clear. We are better when we work with people we can call friend.
Principals, how would this knowledge impact your grade level placement of teachers?
Would this change the kinds of things you talk about with your teachers in goal setting or evaluation meetings?
What kinds of things could you do to help teachers develop relationships with each other and what could you do to improve your relationships with them as individuals?
Teachers, when you consider the number of hours, days, and weeks spent at school, are you thinking about how much you need a friend or friends at school?
What would the impact of vital friends be to Professional Learning Communities?
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